2012 Points to Remember

2012 Points to Remember

• This year began in Boston towards the back of a quiet chapel in the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. I was letting go of 2011 and letting Jesus love me at the beginning of 2012.

• This was a year of being stretched, doing things I thought I couldn’t. I gave a talk, the R&C talk at Aggie Awakening 94. It’s a talk not commonly delivered by girls especially quiet ones like me.

• This year I felt the devil trying to convince me that I wasn’t worthy or qualified but I heard Jesus louder saying, “Be My Voice.”

• This year I survived the worries, and stress and laziness of senioritis and graduated from Texas A&M University.

• This year I told God I wanted to be His smile for people, to give people hope.

• This year I said goodbye to many dear friends. I have begun to feel the effects of changing relationships with people not so near anymore.

• This year I co-directed a retreat and learned how to talk without my notes.

• This year I had the honor of having my feet washed by a best friend and spiritual brother Fr. Michael Sullivan.

• This year I started receiving the Eucharist on my tongue on All Saint’s Day

• This year Fr. Tommy became my spiritual director in August

• This year I made a few new friends.

• This year I began a blog

• This year I had my first real teaching experience taking over Mrs. Klimitchek’s classes for a month.

• This year was really hard

• This year at times I wanted to crawl in a hole and be invisible

• This year held real struggles, temptations and times I fell

• This year Mrs. Janak passed away, she’s one of the sweetest ladies I ever knew.

• This year I began a scrapbook

• This year I helped clean General Earl Rudder’s house

• This year upon coming back to St. Mary’s realized how much I’d really be missing it

• This year I experienced maybe my last Easter Vigil at St. Mary’s.

• This year I said goodbye to Nagle Hall

• This year I had my purse stolen

• This year I caught a shark

• This year I went on my first silent retreat and Fr. Brian took us to the roots

• This year ……………..

• This year held many wonderful conversations

• This year I made a bug collection and achieved the highest score on it.

• This year I made a small selfless decision and God blessed me generously

• This year I had an Awakening family with a husband Nick and great kids.

• This year I coordinated a Holy Hour with a best friend Henry

• This year I had some great memories with friends

• This year God taught me a lot about myself

• This year I learned that I’m not enough, but He makes me enough.
• This year I'm going to mass at 11:30 and again will ring in the New Year in the presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

Holding The Newborn: A Nativity Reflection

It’s the present, and you’re sitting late one evening, dozing off, before the tabernacle in a dark empty church. Suddenly you are awoken by a tap on your arm, an angel appears before you and announces that Christ our Savior has been born and urges you to come and visit this new family. The angel extends his hand, you are hesitant, but upon barely grabbing it he transports you to the outskirts of Bethlehem.

You see a stable with light coming from it. When you arrive, you are overtaken by the warm peace within. The new father Joseph greets you and leads past the silent cow and donkey that seem to have hardly noticed you, but are focused on a place in the hay where you see Joseph’s wife resting and holding the new born baby Jesus. Jesus sleeps peacefully wrapped up safe in her arms. You kneel down near Mary and the sleeping baby Jesus to get a closer look. He’s perfect, a pink little newborn with big long eyelashes, and the softest skin. The cutest, most precious baby you’ve ever seen. As you lean in He opens His eyes and stares at you. Mary smiles and extends her arms out offering for you to hold her Son.

You shake your heard at first, to hold a newborn is daunting, He’s so new and tiny and fragile. Most notably, this is Christ. You hardly feel worthy of the honor, but Mary doesn’t pull back and you can’t resist the chance to hold the little miracle. So you check your hands and try to wipe them as clean as possible on your clothes you look to Mary wondering if there was more you could do to prepare. She gives you the most reassuring smile and insists you hold her Son. With that one look, though you may not feel ready, you know it’ll be alright with her near you attentively ready to help. So you carefully take the tiny baby into your arms tenderly cradling His head into the bend of your elbow. He’s so small in your long arms, and He could easily fit in the palm of your hands. He’s wide awake now but he doesn’t fuss. He just gazes up, His eyes full of wonder as He studies your face and he reaches up to touch it. You gaze back and can’t take your eyes off of Him. You just look at Him with complete adoration. Any prior fears you had are gone. You’re captivated and in love. You think how you love Him, and you would do anything to protect Him from harm. He’s so fragile and beautiful.

 Then you your face falls as you realize, being from the future, this tiny child in your arms is Christ your savior. You know that already there is a nearby king desiring His death and in the future He'll face much ridicule and rejection and finally betrayal. He will choose to take upon all of this out of sincere perfect love to deliver us from our transgressions. This tiny child will carry the weight of all your sins. He will suffer greatly. As if He senses what you are thinking his tiny hand and all five little fingers reach as far as they can and grip tightly around your index finger. “Don’t look away from me” He seems to be saying with His eyes, “trust in me, I love you.” Tears roll down your face, both sorrow for sins you know will cause Him pain, and tears of awe at how generously forgiving and loving He is. Jesus continues to hold onto you with a firm grip. The weight of your worries is immediately lifted and peace flows through you in the presence of this child. You're able to rest now with Him. He is at peace too in your arms just watching you, holding you, and loving you. He trusts you to keep holding onto Him and watching Him, and soon He dozes off in your arms still gripping your finger. You stay and remain adoring this dear little one who loves you more than you can imagine.